Whether it's the anti-CC atmosphere of all of Wrath (I swear, you never see a sheep anymore unless you're PvPing) or simply the result of everyone overgearing every instance imaginable through badge and BoA gear, DPS have lost their restraint. Every fight is an AoE fight and if you aren't pulling as fast as the healer can keep up (if not faster), you are labeled a "fail tank" or told (usually by a ret pally) that someone else in the group can tank instead if you can't do it faster. It's enough to bring newer tanks (including me) to tears.
Now I could talk about DPS taking a lesson in patience, that everyone has to learn to tank somewhere. However, I've seen a lot of those kind of posts around, so I thought I would tackle it a different way.
Tanks need to learn to deal with these impatient, rude DPS.
First, take a deep breath. When they start in with "pull faster" or "I could do this job for you," as a tank you actually do have a few options. If you're interested in a conversation or think this person would actually listen to reason, you can explain to them that you're pulling at the pace you (or your healer's mana) are comfortable with. Or that you've found if you pull large groups, the DPS AoEing makes you lose aggro on too much of the pack and everyone dies because the healer has to heal, literally, the whole group at once. However, I've found more often than not that if a DPS player is going to start berating you for not turning each instance into a five-minute run (so they can sit around for their next 15-minute queue, heheh), they're not usually interested in listening to what you have to say.
An option that many young tanks (myself included) take is to just drop out of the instance. If the entire group seems set on negativity or you are completely outleveled by the mobs in the instance (it's amazing how little threat you can hold on mobs just two or three levels above you) or by the other DPS (this is especially bad with mages and ret pallies), it's sometimes better to take the debuff and not get caught up in the hate mongering. You'll have to wait a bit for the debuff to wear off, but I strongly urge you to wait it out and then get right back into the dungeon queue. In all likelihood, you aren't a bad tank. In all likelihood, you've been given a handful of bad DPS or been put in a situation that is beyond your control (mobs three levels above you only receive a third of the aggro you put out). Take a breather, quest some, talk to a friend who plays a tank and get some tips, and then get back on the horse. After that next dungeon, you'll feel a whole lot better.
If you think you can handle the instance or just want to be stubborn (we've all been there :P), there's always the ignore option. Not only does it completely negate what they're saying to you, it prevents you from queuing with them ever again. Both can be positive things. Check healer mana and move on. Most likely, the healer will follow your lead. And really, the DPS in any dungeon run are just there to make it faster. If pressed, a tank and a healer can handle a dungeon (especially a lowbie one) with just the two of them. I don't recommend telling the DPS that, but it certainly can help your own sense of self-confidence.
You notice that I refer to the healer and their mana situation a lot. In a dungeon, the healer and the tank have to stick together, and the healer is the person I always give the most respect to. They're the ones keeping my big bear butt standing and if they're not happy, then nobody's happy. Since I play a healer as my main spec, I know how tough it can be and I afford them whatever chances to drink that I can.
The last option is one that I seldom use intentionally, but for the most rowdy DPS it's necessary. Let them pull aggro and die. Well, it's really the healer's choice whether or not they die, but you can certainly let the pulls go to them. If the mage won't stop ice storming? Hold down the mobs that you can, use your taunts on a reasonable cycle, and if something is eating the mage's face then it's not your fault.
A huge part of tank burnout (and probably a contributing factor to why there are so few around) is that you feel very responsible for what happens in the run. And probably more than any other role, you are responsible. But that doesn't mean that heals and DPS are blameless. DPS players have skills to drop threat or can watch Omen and learn to stop DPS when they get too high. Or they can die and whine about it. Neither of those things are the responsibility of the tank. Take the blame for things that are your fault, but don't let others foist the blame for their own faults onto you.
We've all been in situations that make us feel really awful, especially as tanks. The important thing is to figure out what you can do to help move things along, both for yourself and for the group. Because tanks who can exude confidence in the face of negativity end up being more successful in the long run.
